For this chapter, we’ll be discussing forgetting who’s in the room. This is a fun one. There’s three different parts to this. Everyone has been burned at least once by following someone else’s advice. Number two, what you think might change what you do, but what you do changes the way you think. And number three, there is a time to talk and a time to listen. Make sure you know what time it is.
Everyone Has Been Burned At Least Once By Following Someone Else’s Advice.
Most of the time the people giving us bad advice did not know any better. People are far less evil than we imagined. Now, it’s the same as when you lose your wallet and there’s people in the room or in the house with you. The very first thing that comes to your mind is somebody else took it. It’s almost human nature, our first reaction is to think the worst. Someone did something maliciously. And more times than not, they don’t. As disappointing as that could be, most of the time, they’re not out maliciously trying to get you. It’s just, they personally didn’t know any better.
So if someone gave you a stock tip and they were gung-ho about it, and they truly believed in this tip and you lose all your money, I doubt that they purposely wanted you to lose all your money. There are people out there that are shysters and sneaksters that are out there trying to get you for everything. But for the most part, people are not evil, trying to get you. What happens after we get burnt though, is our brain adapts and becomes less open to other people’s suggestions. So if you’ve lost on the stock market, and the reason we use the stock market, you’ve listened to a couple of gurus and you’ve lost a lot of money. So what happens is you become less receptive to other people’s suggestions. Now it’s the same as the first time you touched a burning stove and you know, you learn not to touch the burning stove. That’s if you don’t want to use the stock market, we’ll use the stove. But over and over, you get burned. Now that’s good, but also it’s not the greatest.
When you are no longer open to other people’s suggestions, you might not learn that next step. So remember in previous chapters we said it’s okay to make errors. They just don’t have to be your own. So always remember who’s in the room and who’s telling you this advice.
What You Think Might Change What You Do, But What You Do Changes The Way You Think.
Now, gurus make money by telling their secrets, because they know a lot of people will buy the secret, but only a small percentage actually follow the secret. Another reason why I use the stock market. Now, if you pay attention to everyone, everyone has stock tips. Even that friend that gave you that one stock tip and they come back a week later and like, “Oh man, I profited a whole bunch.”
And you’re like, “Man, I lost everything.” So, in your mind, you’re like, “Man, that’s evil.” But they probably weren’t evil. They just were a guru and knew exactly what they were doing and knew that you probably wouldn’t follow their advice to the T. They told you to do step one through 10, but you heard step one and you ran with it. Now, let’s think of this. We talked about this in the first chapter. Always bring a library. Warren Buffet and Bill Gates are avid readers. The secrets to wealth. Just remember if you’ve read other of my books, if you’ve heard different stories about the influence that the Biltmore house library had on me when I was a young kid. The secrets of wealth are in the books. The average American reads one book a year. The average ignored the secret, but complained that they’re not wealthy. So my question is this, most of us aspire to be wealthy. Buy the Lamborghini and Ferrari, which is nice. And most wealthy people have that, but the uber wealthy have one other thing in common. Can you guess what it is?
Oh, don’t worry. We just talked about it, but still you probably have no idea what I’m talking about. It’s a library. If you want to be uber wealthy, then stop looking at the Ferrari or the Lamborghini and start looking at the library. Because what you think might change what you do, but what you do does change what you think. So if you build that library, just in the process of building it, it’s going to change the way that you think. So at first you were gung-ho. Yeah, the symbol of success is the Ferrari or the Lamborghini, or the mansion. But if you change the way you think, and change the way you think, as in real wealth has libraries, then you change what you do. And you start working to build a library. Then that’s going to change what you think even more. And it’s going to show you ways to become uber wealthy, like the Warren buffet or the Bill Gates.
There’s A Time To Talk And There’s A Time To Listen. Make Sure You Know What Time It Is.
If we remember in step one, we’ve been burnt in our lives. And our minds have evolved a little to not listen to others advice when we enter a room with our idols. So, we’re walking into a room with, we use the stock market, Ray Dalio, and let’s say John Carter, and Tim Sykes, throw in a couple more hedge fund people in there. You were just interviewed on CNBC. And so you’re living this big high, and you walk in a room. Now you walk the room with your idols. And you’re overtaken with excitement. And you just start talking and talking and talking until all the people that your entire life you’ve been waiting to talk to, they tell you they have to leave. You’ve literally taken as much time as you possibly could.
They were very polite, you got your selfies, you shook their hands. You got what you wanted. But what was the problem? You forgot who was in the room. All the best people to teach you were in the room with you. But instead you were too busy telling everybody else about you. Instead of listening to people who’ve already been on CNBC a hundred times, who’ve already made your money a million times over. But instead of you being quiet and paying attention to who’s in the room with you, you were busy talking opposed to listening. Make sure you know what time it is. Is it time to talk or is it time to listen? And with that, you have to realize who’s in the room with you. And take every opportunity to learn what is presented to you.
A very important thing about listening is to analyze the conversation and see if it’s progressive or regressive. See what’s being talked about. Now, if it’s a progressive conversation, then listen and pay attention. If it’s a regressive conversation, then you need to leave immediately. What happens in this situation, and people don’t really notice this, and this is why forgetting who’s in the room goes both ways. So you can lose an amazing opportunity with your idols in the room, if you’re too busy talking. But what happens if you’re not talking and you’re in the room with what’s the opposite of your idol. You can put whatever adjective you would like to put there. However, when you are with the opposite of your idols, and we’re talking about the complete polar opposite, like idols are up on the top. We’re talking about the people that are all the way on the bottom. When you’re in the presence of them, what happens is if you’re not talking, then you’re probably listening. But that’s almost just as detrimental as when you’re doing all the talking around your idols.
Why? Everything begins with a thought. So if one of these people from the bottom think of something and they spit an idea and your mind starts to process that thought, that idea into thinking, it’s a terrible idea. Terrible, because of where you got it from, you got it from the bottom. You didn’t get it from the right people. If you had got that idea, maybe that same idea from the people from up top, then you can ask them questions to articulate that idea better, to formulate a better plan. But what happens if you take the idea from the bottom, it could be the exact same idea. But if you start asking the people from the bottom, then you’re going to be poisoning your brain with other people’s thoughts that don’t know how to get to the top. Does that make sense?
So it could be the exact same idea, but it depends on where you get the idea from. Because if you formulate the idea around a whole bunch of people that have never been able to be successful, then that formulation of the idea has a higher probability of what success or failure? Failure. But if you would have that same idea and you’re around the right people, pay attention to who’s in the room. If you’re in the room with the right people, when you have this idea, when you’re formulating this idea, the probability of success is much higher because you’re in the room with the right people. So if you’re struggling in whatever it is that you’re doing, take a minute to think, and look, who’s in your room.
Are you trying to formulate an idea with people that will never help you? Are you in the wrong room? Because if that’s the case, then you know the problem. Just move rooms and find the people that are at the top. That when you formulate your idea, it has a higher probability of success. And when I say idea, it could be lifestyle, whatever you want it to be. But make sure you’re in the room with the correct people. And when you’re in the room, make sure you act accordingly. If you’re in the room with people that can help you then be quiet. Don’t talk, be a sponge. If you’re in a room with people that can’t help you be quiet and leave because it won’t help you. So rarely ever do you need to talk most of the time, you should listen. You learn more when your mouth is quiet.
All right. Let’s see what our next chapter is. That was a quick one, but I liked that one. Mastering your daily routine. See you in just a second.