All right. Hope everyone’s having a good evening, afternoon, morning. In the last chapter we learned the difference between FYMM and Innovation. If we don’t remember, FYMM small steps, Innovation shock factor. Second one learned what FYMM is, a little bit more in depth instead of just what’s the difference. we learned it’s based on taking minor, minute, little, itty-bitty steps to accomplish large goals. FYMM is broken down into six strategies.
The six strategies are: asking small questions to dispel fear and inspire creativity; thinking small thoughts to develop new skills and habits without moving a muscle; taking small actions that guarantee success; solving small problems, even when you’re faced with an overwhelming crisis; bestowing small rewards to yourself or others to produce the best results; recognizing the small but crucial moments that everyone else ignores.
asking small questions to dispel fear and inspire creativity. So what does that really mean? When we ask small questions on a larger goal. let’s say we have to write a huge paper, or we have to study for a huge exam, or we don’t know if this is the right career for us, becoming financially free whatever it could be. Anything that’s grandiose. I’m not talking about what pair of socks we’re going to wear in the morning, even though that to some people that might be a really large decision, but for most, we might just have a thousand of the same color. But we’re talking about bigger problems,bigger obstacles that cause us to have fear. Causes us to stop moving forward, to stop progressing in life, to decide that we don’t want to do it anymore and just give up, to quit. These are the big issues I’m referring to.
If you’re having problems starting going to the gym, ask the small questions to get away from the fear. What is it that you don’t want to do? What is stopping you? What is it that you feel that you’re going to miss out on by doing this new thing? If it’s stopping cigarettes, or cutting down on cigarettes or candy or chocolate, asking the small questions on why do you need it? What is the fear that you have by not doing this?
Then on the flip side, when you realize there is nothing to fear, with something or wanting to start something. We allow our cortex, creativity, to begin working. Now I’ve asked this small question, how can… “I know that when I get nervous, I smoke a cigarette, how can i inspire creativity, When I’m nervous, opposed to jumping the gun and grabbing a pack of cigarettes or grabbing a cigarette, I’m going to do a pushup, or I’m going to go grab some water, or I’m going to call a friend, or whatever inspire creativity. If it’s losing weight, it’s the same thing, dispel fear. Well, I have a fear that I’m going to miss out on this great meal, or that I’m going to go hungry, or whatever it is that your fear is, that could be anything, of not changing or keeping the same habit and not reversing that habit in the other direction. So instead of enforcing a bad habit, what is your fear of flipping that and turning that bad habit into a positive habit. A negative habit into a positive habit.
Thinking small thoughts to develop new skills and habits without moving a muscle
Now, when we’re asking all these small questions to ourselves and others or even Google. Ask Google a small question, it’s going to give you a thousand answers. But thinking small thoughts. When we’re thinking something, it’s basically like a question inside ourselves. So we have a thought like, “Well, what if? Hmm,” that’s a question. Most of the thoughts are questions and internal questions. Now, when we’re doing this and we’re having small, little, itty-bitty thoughts on the new inspired creativity that we got from asking small questions to other people and asking the small questions to ourselves, it gives us the opportunity when our front brain is being inspired, our subconscious can start developing the new skill or new habit without us even knowing.
we’re breaking down the old habit, the negative habit, that we don’t want. And without us even knowing it, without moving a muscle, we’re creating a new habit. By taking a sip of water opposed to puffing a cigarette, or as easy as your fear of working out is you don’t have time. Well, picking up your pencil up and down at the office 10 times with each hand. Now, doing that you might not think that you’re creating a new skill because you’re like, “Well, Erik, that’s easy,” you know what I’m saying, “I can do that, that’s not working out,” but what you’re doing is you’re creating a habit of moving. So the more that you do that and it’s easy, and you’re like, “Man, this is ridiculous. Dude, this isn’t even doing anything. I’m going to go ahead and lift this coffee cup 10 times.” Well look at that, before you even know it, without even moving a muscle, you’ve already upgraded yourself from a pencil to a coffee mug, without even knowing it. You created a new skill and habit without moving a muscle right. That’s just a really simple example but it works for everything if you just break it down.Saving money start with all your pennies or your change, at the end of each month take it to your local credit union and buy a bond. It is so small it’s impossible not to do.
Taking small actions that guarantee success. I would have to say probably everybody, people on different degrees are going to be different, but no one likes failing. Nobody. Even a baby doesn’t like when they do something wrong, or if they fall, or when they crawl. Look at it, look at the baby, they get frustrated. So no one likes to fail. When you’re trying to do something and you fail, your whole glow about you becomes a little darker. And a lot of that has to do with the size of the goals we choose to have. No, I’m not saying every goal that we have needs to be something so easy as in, “Today I’m going to wake up.” Well, that’s kind of easy. Most of the time you’re going to wake up, but for some people, if you’re having a problem, and you just had a breakup with somebody and you’re really depressed, maybe that’s something that’s big, “I’m just going to wake up and I’ll be able to get out of the bed today.”
So as simple as that, I’m glad I thought about it like that because getting out of the bed to me, that seems simple but in different circumstances, it is a big thing. Like if you’re really depressed and you can’t get out of the bed and you don’t want to answer phone calls and all that looks good is some tissue paper and a movie and the same blanket that you’ve been in for a couple of days. Or maybe it’s even worse, it’s some beers and some pizzas laying around and you’re stuck in a rut. You don’t know what to do, you just broke up with your girlfriend, boyfriend, got fired. We all go through different things, lost a parent, lost a best friend, lost a dog, lost anything. Anything that can put us into something that we all know is not healthy for us.
Well, if we want to change something, a lot of people will say, “Just do this.” “They snap their fingers and say just do that or take this” it’s like, “Whatever, dude. You obviously don’t understand where I am right now.” And no one ever does, because they don’t understand you. They might think they do, but each and every one of us are different. So when you’re in that situation what is there to do?
taking a small action to guarantee your success! If what you want to do is get over it and you want to stop feeling the way that you’re feeling, then make small little steps. Little ones that you know you’re not going to fail, don’t tell everybody, you don’t need to, it’s not for everybody, it’s for yourself.
So set it out as, “Today I’m going to throw away the pizza boxes.” And just make that your goal all day. Make it something that you can do, it’s not too big. Don’t be like, “Oh, I’m going to clean the entire house today, and I’m going to take a shower, and do all the laundry, and tomorrow I’m going to be better.” That’s the innovative way and we know this might work every now and again, but the success rate of doing that is very low compared to the alternative, which is the FYMM way we are discussing. Because you didn’t build a habit the other way, you just cleaned everything up, but you didn’t have the building blocks, so you’re more susceptible of crashing. You do small little things.
we were talking about going to the gym, or about working out with the pencil, guaranteeing yourself something so small that you’re not going to fail. Lifting that pencil, lifting the lighter 10 times, lifting your phone. We’re on our phone all day long, well, do a curl with your phone on each arm, doing something that you know you can’t fail and then build on that. We’ll get back to getting yourself out of a rut. Just every day, try to do one little thing that’s going to guarantee a success and slowly but surely you’re going to get yourself out of any problem.
And that brings us right into solving small problems, even when you’re faced with an overwhelming crisis. What we were just talking about was like overwhelming crisis. We just lost somebody really dear to our hearts, just went through a huge breakup, it could be anything, lost a job, car just got repossessed, lights just went out. Anything could be an overwhelming crisis. Every crisis is different for each and every one of us, it doesn’t matter how large or how small it is, because each one of us, the crisis to ourselves is equal. You know what I’m saying? It doesn’t matter what the crisis is, it’s equally a crisis to each and every one of us.
When we’re just overwhelmed and can’t think, like, “Oh man, I don’t know. Man, the lights are out. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I got to cook food. I got to do this. How are we going to do this? How am I going to do that?” So you’re asking, which brings us back to number one, small questions. But you’re not asking them to dispel fear, you’re actually adding to your fear. Because you’re asking overwhelming questions. You’re not thinking small thoughts. You’re not taking small actions. You’re not asking the right kind of small questions.
Solving the small problems in crises is dealing with one at a time. Okay, you don’t have any lights, what is the first smallest problem that you can take care of? And then build off of that. Like a perfect example is, a few years ago, I was running pallets and a buddy of mine was driving a truck behind me with a trailer on the back and we blew a tire. And we’re at the gas station now, it’s starting to get late, starting to get cold, I think it was fall. And there were like five or six of us. Now, he was sitting there feeling bad about himself, like, “Woe is me! I popped the tire,” blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I went up to him, I was like, “Look, Dawg. We don’t have time for the woe is me. I understand you popped a tire, that’s a big problem. But what are we going to do now to solve this problem so we can get home?” And we started solving the smaller problems.
Okay, the first problem usually is this, your attitude. If you change your attitude, then you can change your outcome. When he changed his attitude from, “Woe is me,” to, “Okay, who cares? I don’t care what happens, I can feel bad when I get home. I got a problem at hand, I need to solve it. I’ll feel sorry for myself later.” When you saw that first problem with feeling sorry for yourself, you’ll be amazed of what you can accomplish. the doors, the windows open up. And just like that, the sun starts to shine again.
So that brings us with… Well, it doesn’t bring us at all to bestowing small rewards. But, bestowing small rewards to yourself and others produce the best results. A lot of time we think that you can buy people with large gifts. You and your wife been fighting, go buy her huge diamond earrings, a car, she’s always wanted this dress, so you think you’re just going to solve the problem with this dress and it’s all going to go back to normal or go back perfect. And how often does it really work? Exactly, it doesn’t. When you try to solve a problem with something large. With some innovative way of solving it, or, “I love this girl. I know if I buy her this car, buy her this million dollar diamond, she’s going to be in love with me forever.” But it didn’t work like that, did it?
Great movie, Casino. We all know that movie. If you haven’t watched it, great one. Robert De Niro with, can’t remember her name, Ginger or whatever. He thought he could buy her with large gifts, $2 million in jewelry, all the money and the fame and everything. But it was her other little boyfriend that did the small little things that she could never leave. No matter how large and how much Robert De Niro gave her, she never loved him. And so that’s a grandiose way of thinking of it, but it has some validity and some truth.
Bestowing the small rewards to yourself and others to produce the best results. Saying, “Thank you”, and “Please,” and allowing someone the feeling to be appreciated. In the end we all desire that feeling, the feeling of being appreciated more than anything. Like you buy your wife, you buy your girlfriend, that magnificent gift. You saved all month for it. You saved all year for it, it doesn’t matter. You put time and energy into it, to be able to buy this for her, you give it to her or you give it to him and he’s not very happy. They’re happy momentarily, but then it just doesn’t matter to them. How does that make you feel? It makes you feel horrible, right. Because all you really wanted is to feel appreciated. So now that we know that that’s what we want, imagine how other people feel. They want to feel appreciated as well and that’s the smallest thing in the world, it basically doesn’t cost anything, it is letting people understand and letting people know how much you appreciate them. Bestowing small rewards to yourself or others to produce the best results.
Now, recognizing the small but crucial moments that everyone else ignores.So let’s say you’re at work, or your wife, or boyfriend, girlfriend, daughter, son, grandma, mom, dad, whatever, it doesn’t matter, any particular relationship you have with another person, even the dog, whatever. When you’re paying attention and you’re observant and you’re aware of different things, they could be so small, like you’re asking the question of, If someone likes the end of the bread on a loaf of bread?
A quick story. I don’t know who told me this or even know if it’s true, I don’t know where I got it from. But it’s a great story and it teaches you a lot. So this couple got married when they were young and have been together for 30 – 40 years. Grew up together, basically getting old together. One day, they ran out of the end bread or there’s just two of the end pieces. I forgot how the conversation came up. And one of them finally let it be known that, “I really don’t like the end pieces.” Let’s say it was the husband that said that. And the wife, mind you they’ve been together 30, 40 years, it doesn’t matter, they’d been together their entire life. And the wife was like, “What do you mean?” She’s like, “I love the end pieces.” And he’s like, “I can’t stand them. In my family, we grew up and the end pieces were the worst pieces. And all these years I’ve been eating them because I was sacrificing for you.” And she is taken aback because she’s like, “In my family, those are the best pieces. And all these years I’ve been giving them to you, sacrificing for you.” And both of them were sacrificing, which is amazing, that all this time they were sacrificing. But the small, crucial moment, 20 years ago, 30 years ago, 40 years ago, 50 years ago, if they just asked, “Do you like the end pieces of bread?” Imagine the difference. Imagine the happiness, just on that. They’ve had 30, 40 years of sacrificing and not even knowing it. They did it for absolutely no reason because neither one of them liked what they were giving or like what they were receiving. One didn’t like it, the other one loved it. But they were both sacrificing for no reason.
Recognizing the small but crucial moments that everyone else ignores. The smallest things in the world. And that’s why I used the bread, the end pieces of the bread, it’s something that we all know and some of us like it and some of us don’t. But something as simple as asking and noticing that small little crucial moment is huge. If you think about it in terms of other aspects of life. with the bread, everybody eats bread at one point in time. All cultures eat some sort of bread, so all cultures can halfway understand it. Maybe one culture likes the brown, the more burnt part of the flat bread, I can’t think what it’s called. The other one likes the whitest part, you know what I mean? But it’s recognizing those small moments in life is what makes the difference. Because once you start recognizing the small things, you can start recognizing other small things. You can recognize small things in yourself. You can recognize, “Okay, well, wow, when I do this particular thing, this result happens.” But if you’re not training yourself and you’re not aware of those small things, you’ll never be able to change.