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Pegan Meditations

Bow-chicka-bow-wow. All right. Let’s see what we’ve got today…

The Powerhouse CAA. That should be fun. Creative Arts Agency. Art, or basically, an agency for all your most popular, famous people.

Oh, look at this. Look at this. This caught my eye. Pagan Meditation. Aphrodite, Hestia, and Artemis. Okay. Let’s see what we’ve got. Oops. All right. The Aphrodite. The Birth and… Yeah. Yeah. Boring. Who is Sappho? What? Pagan Meditations, what is this? Aphrodite or Tantra. What is this book, man? Ugliness and depression. I mean, yeah, I know. I want to do the… if it says sex, it’s probably more interesting, and they have a lot of sexuality, sex, Aphrodite. What is Sappho? Tantra versus Aphrodite. The Prostitute, the Wife, Infidelity and Lying. Man, what is this book?

Hey, let’s check out… What is this? Hold on. I don’t even know what this book is about. Someone else, fucking, or highlighted that. I did not. What else we got going on in here? Let’s just go. Yeah, let’s figure something quick, yeah. All right, chapter two, got a whole bunch of stuff in there. Chapter three. Yeah, let’s, I’m interested… Who is Sappho, right? Who’s this guy? Who’s this guy?

First, let’s read this poem. “The sun, hearth of tenderness and life, pours burning love over the delighted earth. And when one lies down in the valley, one smells how the earth is nubile and rich in blood. How its huge breast, raised by a soul, is made of love, like God, and of flesh, like woman. And how it contains, big with sap and rays of light, the vast warming of all embryos. And everything grows and everything rises. O Venus, O Goddess.” Boo.

What is this? Wait a minute. “The so-called sexual revolution of our days has endeavored to remove the stain of guilt and sin with which Christianity has traditionally associated sex. It has accomplished this by removing sexuality from the domain of religion. Sexuality, being thus secularized, permits contraception, erotic adventure, and pleasure for the sake of pleasure. So far, so good.”

Well, wow. “Sexuality as an initiation into the realm of sacred.” Wow. So, where was I? This is the book. What is this? This is Pagan Meditations. Where do you get meditate… Like again, I’m sitting there thinking it’s about meditating. I want to learn new little tactics on how to meditate from the olden times, but this is more of a book on sex.

Ugliness and depression. “We have seen how the feeling of ugliness is, if not transformed into a motivation to excel, as in the case of,” whatever his name is, “casts a shadow over the sexual experience.” Wow. “But what is the effect of the absence of beauty, and the ignorance of Aphrodite, in domains other than sexuality, for those who see a link between pleasure, beauty, and spirituality. I believe it is also,” blah, blah, blah.

Wow. Where is it? I mean, this must be more written by a girl for a girl. Ginette Paris, I guess. Because this little saying right here. I mean, maybe it’s cool. Maybe it’s for guys too, but maybe, I don’t think so much. Where was it?

“I have often seen how certain depressive states could be interpreted as a trauma of a sudden loss of beauty. When depression follows a loss of places, objects or persons who have been loved for their beauty, one may see the return of vital energy when the afflicted person’s encouraged to reconstruct the harmony and charm of his or her environment. Obviously, the degree of this sensitivity is not the same for everyone. Not everyone reacts to an environment perceived as ugly, and even the perception of something or someone or something as ugly comprises interplay of subjectivities.

“People adapt to the city, one can invoke a thousand reasons, all of them valid: stress, social isolation, insecurity of employment, the anguish of a new mode of life, and so on. But must we not add to the list the fact the city is only beautiful for those who have the means of replacing the harmony of nature, which is lost in most cities, by a certain luxury of space and comfort, which money can buy? Poverty only becomes sordid when accompanied by ugliness. Although it is true that in the country the sun shines for everyone equally, it is not so in the city, where in crowded districts, ill-conceived buildings, sun, light, and beauty seem inaccessible.

“For those who love the beautiful land and flowers, it is traumatic to lose the sight of the mountain, or sea. Or…” Okay, okay.

Wait a minute. “When depression takes root, only those gestures independent to survival persist. The depressed person no longer devotes any of her time to Aphrodite. The attractiveness of the home, in the personal appearance deteriorate, the baby is no longer dressed up, the table is no longer set, and no effort is made to be charming. Activities become strictly functional. And the person is no longer interested in…”

Wow. That’s a little bit deeper than I originally thought. So, in order to really… I got me thinking. In order to give you guys a… I got to do a little bit more research. I got to probably read the pre-chapter. I mean, Aphrodite, I got to read what that means. Don’t forget we’re supposed to know who Sappho, Sappho, whatever his name is. I didn’t quite get that far. I got distracted and I apologize for that.

But through the essay, I’ll be able to explain a lot more because I’m going to do more research and spend more time on it, but it’s pretty interesting. Because what they’re basically saying is, without the feeling of being sexy or attractiveness, then you kind of transform and you start taking less care of your outward appearance. That’s just weird.

I guess part of it, because a lot of that hit, whatever it was saying. Not kind of like whatever it was saying, because I know what it was saying. It was just kind of, I’m internalizing everything right now. Kind of looking at it because it’s kind of happened to me over time. I mean, if you kind of look at my hair and my face and everything like that, but then if I kind of clean up or if people kind of change their opinion towards me, then I look cleaner, I look nicer, and I guess less depressed. Or I don’t really look at myself as being depressed. I look at myself as being focused, but maybe from the outside looking in, focused and depression could be one and the same. So, again, I’m very, very curious and want to read more.