It is easy to always use race as a protective barrier if a white person uses the word nigger then he is considered a racist. Well since I am black and calling other black people (color does not matter they could be green for all I care) a nigger, I am not a racist I am prejudice. I am prejudiced against all people with niggerish tendencies. Again this could mean any color, if I was green I would be prejudiced against certain green people with niggerish tendencies. I want that to be clear so other races can not dismiss my lecture as being a black thing, it is an everybody thing.
How many of us have been asked if we know what we are doing and answered angrily, YES. With a sense of being annoyed for someone asking us such a stupid question, I have, especially when I was younger. The older I get, I realize half the time I don’t know what I am doing and it makes more sense to just ask someone that knows more than I do. More on this later. Ever since we have been little we have been told to; show your best side, talk about your strengths, or hide your weaknesses, the list could go on and on. But the message is always the same
LIE TO YOURSELF AND TO OTHERS.
That is a bold statement, however, it is a true statement. Let’s analyze these phrases better
Show your best side:
Unconditional love is just that unconditional, being a true friend is just that as well being a truly genuine friend. The problem today is we don’t practice unconditional love or true friendship, we are too busy showing everybody our best side. When we meet a new potential partner we go through great lengths to hide everything bad about ourselves. Whether it is putting on lots of makeup or wearing the most expensive pair of Jordan’s. Buying expensive clothes, accessories, alcohol, just to create an image. If I remember correctly an image is just a picture, not reality. We can only stay in character for so long before our true version of our true nature shows. Example, you meet the “perfect” partner everything is going great but you meet the parents and that person changes (it could be a subtle change like being more sensitive or a big change like a completely different person this could also be with a baby mother/father) we tend to be arrogant and think they are just like that with the other people, they are amazing and great with us. This is the show your best side, over time we will begin to realize the truth about this person. As the divorce rate shows most of us don’t like the true version of the other person.
The relationships that have lasted the longest in my life are the ones that we argue and disagree. In the beginning, I almost would not see a point with these people, but then I would tell myself “I don’t like myself all the time, so how in the hell am I supposed to like someone else all the time”. Unconditional love and being a true friend and being a Nigga is about understanding and accepting people for who they truly are and understanding it is normal to not like and even hate people (if I can hate myself at times it is only practical I hate you sometimes).
Talk about your strengths
This is the dumbest shit I have ever heard, how do you know what your strengths are? What are you comparing your strengths too? If you are the greatest at anything why does no one even know who you are? A perfect example of how people only try to boast their strengths, I have a goal to gain 40 pounds in two months I don’t want fat so I have to be very careful about what I eat and my daily activities. I have done this before in the past so I know that it is an achievable goal. I went to a friend’s house to give an update on my goal. There were about 4 people sitting in a circle, I say excitedly I am up to 188 pounds one member of the group asked where I started. I said 175 at the beginning of May (two weeks ago), a decent feat considering I am maintaining my flexibility, monitoring my stamina, and lifting weights. Another member of the group who doesn’t look like they have been to the gym in years proceeded to give me their expert advice. Talking about their strengths, how they know exactly what I need to do, they have a friend who is a bodybuilder, or fighter, or back in the military they used to be in the best shape. My intention is to generalize this as much as possible so we all can relate. Only the first person who asked me where I started from had the common sense to say “13 pounds in two weeks I think he knows what he is doing” if they did not notice a 13-pound increase in two weeks I must know what I am doing a little bit. There are many problems with only talking about your strengths but the main problem is when you think you are the best at something you don’t give yourself the opportunity to grow and develop. Micheal Jordan might have told the world he was the greatest but during practice, I can guarantee he left his arrogance at the door and listened to his coaches.
Hide your weaknesses
We could be talking about getting better at basketball, a foreign language, exercise, or school. Is it somehow better if you hide your weaknesses? Think about it, the only way we get better at anything is if people teach us. Imagine a baby trying to learn to walk without any help, it would be an impossible feat. In today’s society, we are taught to hide our weaknesses and our strengths will overpower our weaknesses. That is the biggest load of shit I have ever heard, in order to change we must face our weaknesses head-on. When going to the gym if your goal is to be an all-around athlete you don’t say “ my legs are weak let me just avoid legs” that would be ridiculous. We only become great when we actively search out our weaknesses and face them head-on. “The only thing to fear is fear itself” that is a very true statement, the fear of failure keeps us in a stagnant mindset. Remember I have talked about there are only two ways; progressive and regressive, there is no third option. When we allow fear to dictate our life we only hinder ourselves from greatness. What do I mean by fear? I am not talking about the fear of a spider or snake or even a dog, those fears are great and need to be addressed but I am talking about the less known fears. The fear of success, the fear of being alone, and most importantly the fear of failure.
- The fear of success:
- I personally have struggled with this, there are countless times in my life where I have been so close to success, in business or personal, only to self-sabotage. If this only happened a few times I would have easily been able to brush it off as a coincidence, however, over time in my life, it became a consistent theme. For ten years I tried to trade options on the stock market, and for ten years I would fail. I am not talking about a few thousand dollars, I am talking overall 100s of thousands of dollars gone vanished. The same thing would happen. I would make thousands of dollars but I would not be happy with the success and would leverage more and more money to make an even larger win. When the larger money would come in I still would not be happy, the only time I was “happy was when I would lose it all”. For ten years the excuse would always be the same “ well if I had done this or if I had done that”. The same could be in a relationship with a significant other. The point is I was too blind to realize I had already succeeded, but the fear of not having enough would drive me to push it to a point where I would take a win and turn it into a massive loss.
- I personally have struggled with this, there are countless times in my life where I have been so close to success, in business or personal, only to self-sabotage. If this only happened a few times I would have easily been able to brush it off as a coincidence, however, over time in my life, it became a consistent theme. For ten years I tried to trade options on the stock market, and for ten years I would fail. I am not talking about a few thousand dollars, I am talking overall 100s of thousands of dollars gone vanished. The same thing would happen. I would make thousands of dollars but I would not be happy with the success and would leverage more and more money to make an even larger win. When the larger money would come in I still would not be happy, the only time I was “happy was when I would lose it all”. For ten years the excuse would always be the same “ well if I had done this or if I had done that”. The same could be in a relationship with a significant other. The point is I was too blind to realize I had already succeeded, but the fear of not having enough would drive me to push it to a point where I would take a win and turn it into a massive loss.
- The fear of being alone:
- We all have this fear it is normal, but what is wrong with being alone? I am not talking about being alone day in and day out for long extended periods of time, but taking time for oneself to reflect. We all have had problems in life, I think I have told this story, one time in Mexico a counselor was tired of everyone complaining, he sat us in a circle and said everyone throw all your shit (metaphorically not really) in the center. After you look at everyone else’s problems you will probably choose your own life and your own problems. If this is the case and we would rather deal with our own problems then someone else’s than it is only logical to think the most efficient way to conquer our own life goals is alone. When we are young we rush into everything (having a family, securing a career, party hard) we have a large friend group and we are hardly ever alone. The consequence of our innate desire to be in social settings is we become influenced by our surroundings. If your friends are having a baby, you are more likely to have a baby. If your peer group is motivated to find a career than you will by default be career originated. If you surround yourself with “you only live once” type of people then you will live in a world of excess. The thing in life is it is always moving forward and never stopping, so if we waste any portion of our life going down the wrong path it could be detrimental to our futures. Having a baby with someone is a serious commitment, children need constant attention not allowing a lot of alone time. Choosing the wrong career path could be devastating, and cause a “midlife crisis”. The only live once mentality can cause serious health problems in your 30’s, living in excess is never good for addictive behavior.
- We all have this fear it is normal, but what is wrong with being alone? I am not talking about being alone day in and day out for long extended periods of time, but taking time for oneself to reflect. We all have had problems in life, I think I have told this story, one time in Mexico a counselor was tired of everyone complaining, he sat us in a circle and said everyone throw all your shit (metaphorically not really) in the center. After you look at everyone else’s problems you will probably choose your own life and your own problems. If this is the case and we would rather deal with our own problems then someone else’s than it is only logical to think the most efficient way to conquer our own life goals is alone. When we are young we rush into everything (having a family, securing a career, party hard) we have a large friend group and we are hardly ever alone. The consequence of our innate desire to be in social settings is we become influenced by our surroundings. If your friends are having a baby, you are more likely to have a baby. If your peer group is motivated to find a career than you will by default be career originated. If you surround yourself with “you only live once” type of people then you will live in a world of excess. The thing in life is it is always moving forward and never stopping, so if we waste any portion of our life going down the wrong path it could be detrimental to our futures. Having a baby with someone is a serious commitment, children need constant attention not allowing a lot of alone time. Choosing the wrong career path could be devastating, and cause a “midlife crisis”. The only live once mentality can cause serious health problems in your 30’s, living in excess is never good for addictive behavior.
- The fear of failure
- In my programs they drilled into our heads two steps forward one step backward or fail forward fast, so for me, failure has always been a part of the plan. I fail all the time, but that is how I learn. When a baby is learning to talk or walk are they perfect the first time? Obviously not they fail over and over until eventually, they develop the skill to walk and talk. When we get older we are taught failure is a bad thing, but we forget that without failure we would have never learned the basics. You would be amazed at how the fear of failure really dictates our lives. The fear of change (not wanting to be ridiculed by our peers), the fear of self-doubt (that person I am attracted to would never like me) the fear of being stupid (I wish I could go to Harvard but that is for smart kids) the fear of rejection ( I never get picked on to play the game) the list could go on and on. On a daily basis I hear why people can’t do things, never do I hear how people can do things.
- In my programs they drilled into our heads two steps forward one step backward or fail forward fast, so for me, failure has always been a part of the plan. I fail all the time, but that is how I learn. When a baby is learning to talk or walk are they perfect the first time? Obviously not they fail over and over until eventually, they develop the skill to walk and talk. When we get older we are taught failure is a bad thing, but we forget that without failure we would have never learned the basics. You would be amazed at how the fear of failure really dictates our lives. The fear of change (not wanting to be ridiculed by our peers), the fear of self-doubt (that person I am attracted to would never like me) the fear of being stupid (I wish I could go to Harvard but that is for smart kids) the fear of rejection ( I never get picked on to play the game) the list could go on and on. On a daily basis I hear why people can’t do things, never do I hear how people can do things.
With an FYMM mindset we want to challenge our niggerish ways of always showing our strengths and hiding our weaknesses to become fully sound individuals. Willing to face our fears accept we don’t know everything and always strive to be a n.i.g.g.a !
Never Ignorant Getting Goals Accomplished.