Only for select things is looking into your past beneficial, on all other things, looking into your past can be very destructive. When you analyze your past it can be very helpful when I say analyze, I mean just that analyze without bias. We all make mistakes, we have all been in situations where we wished we made a different choice than the one we made. It is common to have a sense of pride and embarrassment about our pasts. Analyzing what works and what does not work can be ideal for your future, it allows us to make better-educated decisions to conduct our future in a positive and productive manner. When analyzing our pasts it is imperative to do so in an unbiased constructive way, for our own emotions will cloud our minds, and unconsciously rationalize and justify our destructive behavior. It is human nature to form opinions in all aspects of life so it would only make sense that our minds can form an opinion about our own individual pasts. This can be constructive at times but also and more importantly it can be destructive, our biases and opinions have the ability to create a false perception of our pasts. Whether it is in a past love, money, family, friendship, or it can also go as deep as a past social environment, city, anything that is in our past. Our minds even have the ability to allow us to create a past which we did not even live. This is why it is so important for us to only “unbiasedly” analyze our pasts for insights into our future, as opposed to living in the past.
This quote challenges us to develop skills which allow us to quickly analyze any situation that has happened in the past, and unbiasedly form a healthy decision to positively impact our future, to make our next move our best move. We will see how the mentality of someone living in the past will continue to struggle in life and not understand why. Whereas the person whose mentality is living in the future is able to constructively solve past mistakes and create a more productive future.
It is not a zero-sum game, where you either have one type of mentality or the other, if it were that simple it would not be so hard to spot. Each of us on a daily basis interchange mentalities subconsciously, depending on the particular subject being discussed. We already discussed an array of different topics so let’s examine those in more depth.
Love
We all have the “one that got away” or in some cases the two or three that got away. We dwell in the past, after the initial breakup we might even go into a state of depression,p now how long we stay in that state is purely our own choice driven by our mindset. If we keep looking into the past we will convince ourselves how perfect everything was and how if we had another chance everything would be different and better. We will replay every fight and think “what if”. What if I did this and what if I did that. This disruptive state again will last as long as we allow it to last. The mentality of a person looking to the future will understand that people change and grow over time. Will look over the life of the relationship with gratitude and appreciation, because they understand how to analyze the relationship constructively and absorb the things which worked and will dismiss the negative behavior. Awaiting the next exciting relationship God has for them.
Money
Money is just like a significant other it has the power to activate extreme amounts of emotions. It is most detrimental when the person has had money then lost it. The amount of confidence that is stripped from the person surpasses the amount of confidence one needs in life for basic functionality. The constant thought of past achievements can distract the person from accepting the reality of their immediate situation. The inability to accept one’s life can cause a person to invite uneducated risks, and further hurt the individual financially. We call this “keeping up with the Jones” when a person buys things they cannot afford in order to impress spectators or oneself. A person who focuses on the future accepts the new life they have and analyses their past behavior to dissect the problem and then makes the necessary changes for the future. The person whose mentality is about the future understands that disruptive behavior only compounds into a much larger problem.
Family
Nobody is perfect. We can all strive for perfection but in the end, none of us make the perfect decision all the time. Whether it is your mother, brother, father, or daughter no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Holding resentments about past events is not a healthy way to deal with anyone much less a family member. I fall victim to this, I am having a hard time forgiving people’s actions from the past, by choosing to hold on to past resentments and grudges. I have not allowed myself to grow into the individual I am supposed to become. Hate is a funny thing when you hate another person or thing it also consumes you, when you think you are punishing someone else you are in turn also punishing yourself.
Friendship
This is the plethora of looking into the past, whenever we encounter a friend from our pasts the first thing we tend to do is tell stories about our pasts. “Remember when, do you remember” and any other catchy overused phrase. I don’t particularly believe in the word friendship, I believe it is overused and has lost its value. At the core friendship can be a beautiful thing, a true friend has your best interest in mind. A true friend does not allow you to wallow in the past about anything they are always encouraging you to better your future. What most of us have are acquaintances, people we have in our life to pass the time. Misery loves company and a person who continues to live in their past is miserable. They need to find like-minded individuals to continue their path of self-destruction. They are miserable because instead of focusing on solutions to their problems they are only focused on their problems and only remember the “good ol days” when life was better for them.
Past social environment
As we get older we adapt to our new lives, for some, that means moving to different cities or schools, it could be as large as a move to a different country and as small as moving across town. With all these changes it is only common for us to think and remember our past lives. This can be healthy in moderation, giving us much-needed motivation, however, when we dwell in the past we forget to focus on what is more important and what is in front of us. Take a moment to think about the different conversations you have with other people and really listen to what is being said. Is the conversation progressive? If it is what are you discussing, take notes when you feel the conversation is not progressing and later review your mental notes and determine what the problem was and in turn what the solutions are. You will find that most of your conversations about the past will become boring because you now understand the conversations are not progressive in other words they are a trap.
Looking to the past will only allow you to repeat the same mistakes, although analyzing your past to help construct your future is imperative. It will be a struggle but every day we have to challenge ourselves to be progressive, to aspire to have the future we all deserve.